Moms, do you remember life before kids? Think about how you were as a person, as a wife. Things were very different for me before my daughter, Mila, was born. I remember trying my hardest to make my marriage special. I would always try to go above and beyond for my husband. Things like nightly homemade dinners, special little notes, and fun date nights were a weekly thing. Now, with a baby things are different and I have literally transformed from a loving wife (beauty) to a cranky mother (beast).
I absolutely love being a mother, I would not change that for anything but sometimes I feel like I am failing my family. I wish I had the patience and easygoing attitude I had before Mila was born. The fortunate thing for her is that none of my frustration is let out on her. The unfortunate thing for my husband, Max, is that it all goes to him! I literally am THE BEAST sometimes to him and now I truly know what people were saying when the first year with a baby can take a toll on your marriage.
We just went on a vacation down to southern California to visit our families. It was so much fun, we took Mila to Disneyland and the beach. She had a lot of first time experiences we will treasure forever. With every fun experience, there is always a bad one. Most of the time I felt like I was doing all the work. I felt like Max was having fun all day and I was mentally and physically exhausted making our three month old daughter as happy as I could. This was the most she had been out and about since it had been so cold in Utah we havenʼt gone out much. Of course looking back at the trip now that we are back, that is completely not true. Max helped as much as he could every moment he could, I just didnʼt see it. The beast in me was clouding my emotions and making me the victim and him the beast!
When I finally had this self revelation I looked back at the last three months and the nine hormonal months before that and saw how patient and loving my husband was. He by no means is perfect, but he has gone above and beyond with helping out. The transition to becoming a mom made me focus all of my love and attention to my daughter and left nothing for my husband. I should be a beauty to both Max and Mila and never the beast.
I just want to bring awareness to the fact that transitioning to being a parent is not easy. Like me, if you can realize when you turned into the beast you can easily go back to being a beauty. It will not be easy to refrain from the snarky comment you want to make to your husband after he finally gets home from staying late at work and you had to wait 30 more minutes till he could relieve you from baby duty. And it definitely will not be easy to not yell at him to help when he is laying on the couch watching sports while you are making dinner with one hand and baby in the other. Just remember, no one said marriage and raising a family was easy. It will only be successful if you work for it. So donʼt forget about your husband who loves you unconditionally, he deserves a little love too!